Blunt, Caring, and Different: Understanding the Autistic Brain in Entrepreneurs

Blunt, Caring, and Different: Understanding the Autistic Brain in Entrepreneurs

Ever get called “heartless” because you don’t “show” your feelings like other people? Have you been told your directness makes you heartless, or that your lack of eye contact is suspicious? At times, off putting? How many times have you wondered if people just don’t understand the way your brain works?

This week, we got real with Dr. Norrine Russell about what it really means to live—and thrive—with an autistic brain, especially as AuADHD Entrepreneurs. She explains why we show up the way we do, why the world gets us wrong, and what we can do about it.

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What IS Autism—And Why Do People Misunderstand Us?

Forget everything you think you know about autism. Here’s the key: autism spectrum disorder (ASD) now covers everything from classic autism to Asperger’s to nonverbal social challenges. Diagnosing “autistic” has been simplified down to two things:

1. Rigid, inflexible habits, interests, and ways of doing things.

2. A lack of reciprocal social communication—basically, a breakdown in the “back and forth” of social interaction.

Dr. Russell gave a killer example: after her daughter went through a stressful test, her son (also autistic) saw them walk in with ice cream. Instead of asking, “How was your test, Lila?” his first question was, “Did you get me ice cream?” Not selfish—just how his brain connects the dots.

“His first question...could have seemed so incredibly immature and self-centred...But he saw the ice cream, loves ice cream, and that was top of mind consciousness,” Dr. Russell explained.

We Feel—We Just Don’t Always Show It

Here’s the kicker: autistic people are not heartless. Believe me, we feel everything, sometimes even more—anger, happiness, sadness—but we don’t always show it with our faces or bodies the way the world expects. Don’t forget, ADHD heightens these feelings that we don’t always show.

Neurotypical folks are obsessed with reading faces and body language. But if you’re autistic, your face might be neutral while your brain is going full gear. People read this as you not caring, but that’s just social conditioning talking, not truth. My family accuses me of this constantly. Because I am not crying, does not mean I am not sad at a loss of a family member.

Practical Tip: If someone’s not showing classic signs of emotion, just ask, “How are you feeling?” Don’t assume—clarify.

Eye Contact is Overrated (and Sometimes Painful!)

Still getting flak for not looking people in the eye? Dr. Russell explains: “There are actually studies that show that for some people with ADHD or autism, eye contact is painful.” For lots of us, looking away is how we process thoughts. It’s not disrespectful, it’s survival. Sometimes, I focus better on conversations when not looking at the person’s eyes.

Pro move: If eye contact isn not your thing, look at their mouth, turn your body toward the other person, or explain up front: “If I look away, it means I’m thinking.” Claim your way of connecting—and tell people what to expect.

Directness is Honest, Not Rude

Autistic brains are wired to cut through noise and get straight to the facts. That is why we are blunt. It is not about lacking kindness; it’s about getting to the point efficiently.

As Entrepreneurs, this can be an asset—we’re not afraid to tackle the “elephant in the room.” But it can also lead to misunderstandings if the world expects a “softer” approach. Dr. Russell said, “It has nothing to do with kindness or politeness...It’s how the autism brain is wired.” People who appreciate my directness value and respect me, others don’t. That is a “them” problem, not a me problem.

When ADHD and Autism Collide (AuADHD): Go, Go, Go Meets Full Stop

This hit me hard: ADHD brains go full throttle—always in motion. Autism brains hit the brakes—pause, assess, need predictability. If you’re both ADHD and autistic, you’re dealing with “go, go, go—all stop.” No wonder daily life feels like driving with one foot on the gas and the other on the brake. This idea explains many of my daily entrepreneurial struggles.

Action Steps—Start Now

1. Advocate for yourself: If you communicate differently, say so. Own it. You don’t have to mask to “fit in.”

2. Clarify intentions: Instead of guessing, ask people how they are feeling—or let them know how you are processing emotion.

3. Embrace directness, but check how your message lands—think about how the other person might take your words.

4. Find your community: You are not alone—other AuADHD Entrepreneurs get you.

Ready to share your experiences, or curious if you might have an autistic brain? Email me at andre@theimpulsivethinker.com—let’s keep building our community of Entrepreneurs who thrive because of our differences, not in spite of them.

Let’s cut through the social noise and keep showing up, together.