When They Don’t Believe You: Facing ADHD Denial from Those Closest

When They Don’t Believe You: Facing ADHD Denial from Those Closest

Have you ever opened up about your ADHD diagnosis and been met with rolling eyes, awkward silence, or straight-up denial? Have you felt that sting when family or friends just don’t get it—or worse, act like you are making excuses? Why is it so much harder for people to accept mental health struggles and brain differences, especially in Entrepreneurs who seem “successful” on the outside?

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The Real Impact of Skepticism

One of the most frustrating things about being an ADHD Entrepreneur is when the people you care about the most don’t believe you. Molly Thompson put it best in our conversation: “If I went to a family member or a close friend and said, ‘I have cancer,’ I don’t think they’re going to say, ‘I don’t believe you.’” But with ADHD or any mental health concern, skepticism is still with us—colleagues, friends, even close family. They may not say “I don’t believe you” out loud, but you know when someone shuts down, dodges the topic, changes the subject, or gives you that look.

Masking, Manufactured Confidence, and Growth

For Entrepreneurs with ADHD, masking is a survival tactic. You learn to blend in, hide your differences, and push through—sometimes until that manufactured confidence cracks under the weight of exhaustion. Molly talked about spending “90% of my mental energy fighting against myself” just to keep up “appearances.”

She described being open about her diagnosis—not blurting it out but not hiding it either. Sharing this part of yourself is not about asking for pity; it is about finally having language for your experience and helping others understand how your brain works.

But here is where it gets tricky: when you start advocating for yourself, you change. That unsettles people who liked the “old” you—the one who went along to get along. Now you are taking ownership, getting curious about your differences, and that is uncomfortable for some folks. As Molly said, “Now I have this new vocabulary and a new framework to explain how I’m wired… and that’s very threatening to other people.”

Is It Really About ADHD—Or About Them?

Let’s call it out—denial often is not about you at all. It is about them. Sometimes your growth shines a light on what others are avoiding in their own lives. Molly shared how people stopped inviting her over when she changed habits like drinking and eating. Why? Because your growth can feel like a mirror, making others ask tough questions about themselves they are not ready to answer.

There’s also that old-school mindset: asking for help or admitting you do not fit in means you are “weak.” Add in the pressure to conform, especially in families or small communities, and suddenly it feels easier to keep your struggles buried.

Explaining the Un-Explainable

Here is a fact: if you don’t have an ADHD brain, you will never fully get what it is like. Explaining ADHD to neurotypical folks is like trying to describe to a whale how it is to walk on land. They can empathize, but they will always see it from the outside.

So, what do you do? You advocate. Not with pitiful excuses or complaining, but with specific explanations about what helps you thrive—and why it matters to you and others.

Concrete Actions for the ADHD Entrepreneur

If this is hitting home, try these next steps:

1. Share Your Story When It Feels Right: Open up about your ADHD, but only with those who deserve your honesty. Use relatable examples from your day-to-day—how time management “tips” made you feel like a failure until you found what works for you.

2. Remember: It is Not Your Job to Convince Everyone: Some people will never get it or want to understand. Do not waste your energy trying to “prove” your ADHD. Focus on your own growth.

3. Find Your Community: Surround yourself with other growth-minded ADHD Entrepreneurs who accept and understand you. We are building that community right here. Hit Reply and say, “I’m interested!” if you want to learn more about the ADHD Simplified™ program.

4. Teach Self-Advocacy: If you have kids—or work with young people—model asking for help and owning your strengths and needs. Molly put it best: “If you think something’s off, investigate it until you’re satisfied.”

You do not have to fit into someone else’s definition of “normal.” And you don’t have to shrink just because your growth unsettles the people around you. Stay true to how your brain works, your ambition—and keep moving forward.

Let’s Hear From You

Have you run up against ADHD deniers during your Entrepreneurial journey? Share your experience with us. This is a place where your challenges and your growth both matter. Eyes on your own plate, as Molly would say—and keep building a life that works for you.